Dating Younger or Older
Dating Younger or Older
Most of us go through life assuming that we will date and/or marry someone our own age. Why do we assume this, most couples are not the same age, and very very few are the exact same age but that could just be because it’s hard to find people with the exact same birthday and maybe they just don’t want to share a birthday. Bother are reasonable.
When you are young age makes a huge difference, as it should because the slightest age difference is seems much larger at younger ages. Most people in their twenties date well outside of the common 3 year range which many people seem to think is the norm. Now for math reasons and personal reasons lets trace this backwards. At a younger age, lets say 18, the older person would be dating a 15 year old, that would be a senior and a freshmen, weird huh?
Ok, or those of us who aren’t Peter Pan we know we grow up and by the time we hit 30 we know that 3 years is going to be a drop in the bucket, for those of us who play chess and really think long term, ie 90, you might be thinking this is just one more thing you wish you could ad a 0 on the end of. I have even met couples who have a 20 year age gap. The older you get, the less it matters, but to a younger person they might not think this as much, so you want to be sure you’re on the same page.
You’re younger, How Flattering!
We all know that as we get older you don’t exactly get prettier and most of us are left wanting our prime back. There there are the delusional few who still think they are in their prime. Regardless… We all like to think we still look as good as we did at our peak when we could date whomever we please. Some of the people I talk to actually enjoy walking through the grocery store and having people look at them. Now here comes the interesting part…
There are many young people who look great but want to be considered mature, so they in return like to be looked at by older people. Lets face it, we all want to be told we act more mature than we are, I know I do. If you are looking to date an older person, think about why you like them and why they might like you. It could be that in that situation you both end up flattering each other and it’s nothing more than that. I would hope this is not the case but it is possible for someone to like you because you make them feel good about themselves(and in this case you are a tool not a helper) and so they like you. You in return are also flattered, so what does this mean, does either person like the other? I’ll leave that up to you. It may very well be that you get along and that your mentality may be on the same level, in a good way, but check your motives.
Younger Women Dating Older Men
This is one I worry about a good bit, like many people I trust women more than I do men when it comes to motive. It may just be because I have hung out with our nations best and boy do they live up to their reputation or it could be because I have yet to run into a batch of cougars and manage to catch them talking casually. One thing I do know is that there is a lot of lust involved, and the same can easily be said for women, but women tend to have a little more emotional depth up front so they may just need to feel wanted as opposed to feeling a need and wanting.
There is one thing I have had experience, and I hope everyone is smart enough to know when they are being used as an arm ornament. You know, something pretty to show off that makes the other person feel good about themselves. We can all and have all been overtaken by beauty at some point and it can make us do crazy things. There is also the added element of wanting someone big strong and stable. Older men are normally more the type when they are 30 or 40 and they are more mature so women, you don’t have to put up with as much… but the guy may not be as mature as you think and a lot of time has already passed for this person. Their personality may be set and they will become a lot less strong a lot sooner.
Younger Men Dating Older Women
I’ll be honest, I don’t care about age, in fact, I dont’ like most people my age. The girls are very self absorbed and piss me off pretty quickly. It seems as if most of them are competing with reality and are so far gone I don’t even want to tell them that OMG the world is not ending and that there are more important things out there. Guys my age, well they are about the same, not too much on their mind. I would say that for the most part it would be the intellectuals who want to date an older woman, unless it’s an age gap of 5 years or less, then they are just showing off to their buddies. I may be wrong but I would think it would be very flattering for a young male who values the mind to learn that some successful lady were to see something in him, if she isn’t a known cougar.
There is also the added bonus of being taken care of and a lack of drama. No guy wants to come home and deal with instability and emotions, guys don’t do "emotions". I’ve seen marriages end because of an over emotional spouse. Things tend to get one sided quickly and the male doesn’t respond or communicate as well as he could and the next thing you know you can’t turn back and the relationship is doomed.
Now comes the word of caution. Older women, lets face it, a guy isn’t normally going to go for someone who looks old. Even at the same age a guy will be less likely to settle down with someone he doesn’t find visually appealing. Site is a big part of our world, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder so I wont try to make a mold that you can apply because situations and results may vary. My point is, though, that it’s likely that the older woman will be attractive, but looks fade fast. So while she may only look half the age difference older, she wont always, unless you are aging at a god pace, then maybe it’ll work out. Again I’ll ask that you check your motives and think, "what if we get older?" are you going to be tempted by younger women? The people who were your age and who were "too immature for you" are now mature and ready.
I’d say date first and don’t get to serious until you know what’s going on.